Happy Summer, friends!
Quilts: I have been collecting antique quilts all my life, from having family heirloom quilts on my bed as a small child---and have been myself quilting as a hobby and artistic expression for the past 15 years. But now I am again assessing my love of sewing and quilting. I love the quilts I make, I put hours of time and quite a bit of money into them. And again, lots of attention, intent, and love. Through some difficult years it has been a blessing to wake up each morning and have that special project to focus on. Years of sadness and pain and the loneliness of the pandemic year[s].
Recently though I felt to the need to pass on a few quilts to friends, but no! Yesterday my friend looked over the four quilts I offered her to choose from, and she sneered dubiously. She called them blankets and wanted to be sure they could be used as sleep under bedding and washed often. She texted her husband! [who asks husbands?] who hated them. I admit I was very hurt. Are my quilts THAT unattractive? [don't answer that ,lol.]. Couldn't she have chosen one to adopt, just to be polite, be a friend?
edit to say: I didn't just surprise the person with the quilts on offer, I had asked previously if she'd like one, and she said yes until she actually saw them.
After she left I sat here and cried for hours.
Yep I can't give them away. I was again tearful now as I wrestled also with a quilt once gifted and returned, how to make it better and useable, how to remove personalization. Wondering why it was not loved or wanted. Along with the t-shirt quilt that never got a word of thanks, the quilt used as a drop cloth, the quilt that the recipient never even bothered to take out of the gift bag before stowing it in a cupboard....so much rejection, even my thick hide feels dented.
My quilts are FAILS, which is hurtful. I have a few options and PLEASE do not suggest charity donations, if I want to do charity I will donate money or fleece blankets to animal rescue and foster care.
Options: I can quit quilting. [Unlikely. It gives me something to look forward to each day.]
Or I can renew my focus to please myself, enjoy myself and just go on. Maybe only make tops as finishing is so expensive? That is a good plan but takes away the joy of seeing one's work , one's creation, finished.
Time for a change?
...
Before the giveaway fiasco my friend and I went thrifting. Only thing of interest was this sweet party dress, looks like one my blog friend Kit's [My Montana Life] darling daughter would recycle for her fabulous style.
Today:
Now I plan to brave today's gale wind and as the Thunderbirds roar overhead, practicing for the weekend, I will walk out and smell the beach roses in early bloom.
Welcome summer!
love
lizzy
gone to the beach....
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I'm so sorry to hear that your quilts are neither valued nor enjoyed by others. My eyes are moist after reading this post. Please continue with quilting as it brings you joy as well as a feeling of accomplishment.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind comment, Kathy! Yes I just have to remember it is the fun of making the quilts that is important to me.
DeleteYour quilts are fabulous, I just think you are hanging out with the wrong friends!! I don't even have any words, other than "how rude"!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry.
You have got to be kidding me? Who wouldn't want one of your lovely creations? It is such an honor to be offered a handmade and created quilt...I just don't get it...
ReplyDeletePlease don't be sad, I get a lot of those looks, too. Especially on my scrappy creations...
I think coming from a music performing background I just got used to criticism and "looks" and mostly ignore them...
[I still cannot imagine "calling your husband" to choose a gift quilt???That is so strange and hurtful really] what is it they say? With friends like that, who needs....sigh, anyway..their loss, I say...
Just keep on making your beautiful fabric creations... life is too short to be beating up on yourself. Hugs from a big fan of your works...Julierose
Keep quilting, look for new friends.
ReplyDeleteLove this! Well said. It should be on a word quilt, hahaha, and hanging in my sewing room.
DeleteLol! Love the idea of including these words in a quilt! Get busy, Lizzy ;)
DeleteI echo Lori and hart above. How very rude, I'm so sorry your friends are not good country folk like we have at the other end of our mutual state, almost everyone we know here would be overjoyed to receive a handmade quilt. I hope you can continue to enjoy making your very unique and special quilts just for yourself. Quilting is there to bring us joy in the creation, to provide a positive outlet for our creative energy, to bring peace to our spirit in this very troubled world.
ReplyDeleteYour quilts are wonderful! I think your friends aren’t quilt people….not everyone is. Their rejection says nothing about your quilts and everything about their aesthetic.
ReplyDeleteOh, Lizzy, this makes me so sad, to think that a friend would reject one of your beautiful creations. I think people who don't create haven't a clue about the love, time, care, thought and devotion that go into a quilt, not to mention the expense. Maybe that is the friend you only shop with. Please be assured that many of us think your quilts are fabulous and would cherish any of them. I hope you just keep quilting and sharing with those of us who do value you and your quilts.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I forgot to say how much I love the little house block you're working on. It's wonderful!
DeleteDamn! This made me so angry! You have so much style and talent. Your quilts are pieces of art. All I can say is your friend is crazy! Given the opportunity to get a quilt and she turns it down? Maybe you could sell them? You are right about that party dress and my daughter. I will have to send you a pic of her latest design. And you keep quilting!! Love, Kit
ReplyDeleteDarling, you have the WRONG "friends". These are women whose values on life are so apart from your own. I can remember a friend doing a long and complicated x-stitch picture as a wedding gift - recipient unwrapped it, looked at it and chucked it in a pile of spent wrapping . . .
ReplyDeleteI think your quilts are wonderful and if these "friends" don't want them, that's their problem and nothing wrong with your quilts. Knowing how much hard work goes into making one, and they are so personal to us, it really does seem like a slap in the face. I guess "modern women" just want something they can wash like a rag . . . Their loss.
Good to hear it is not just me! Though that is a very sad story about the cross stitch gift. [I had a wedding gift quilt refused myself, so I can relate.] Thanks for your kind feedback, I am glad you enjoy my quilts.
DeleteLizzy I’m so sorry this happened to you. I couldn’t believe what I was reading and agree with everything written by the other commentators. That is so unbelievably rude. Unfortunately it does happen and usually from people who have no idea how much goes into making a quilt. Please don’t stop making your quilts, do what makes you happy and find new friends who appreciate you. 😘
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind words and supposrt!
DeleteIf everybody liked it then it wouldn't be Art! You have an Artist's Touch with your Quilts and therefore, it will be very subjective to who beholds it. Don't quit Creating just because it does not Appeal to everyone, you are an Artist and anything extraordinary won't appeal to the masses.
ReplyDeleteToo true!
DeleteSo here is the thing. Not everyone is into, or even knows about quilts!!! They have no idea about the love and passion and work that goes into them. I am so sorry your friend hurt you, surely she just said things out of ignorance and not malice. Quilters love quilts, and I love to give them to people who really understand. I also give to my patients...they love the warmth and take them to chemo, etc. I am faced with a situation too...my heirloom quilts will not have a home, as my DIL and son are minimalist/modern and really don't want them. I wish I could give you a huge hug and choose one of those quilts...I would cherish it forever and ever!!
ReplyDeleteSome people love quilts some people don't, do not take personally, but I understand that it hurts when your beautifull quilts are refused. Just make them for your own pleasure and maybe somebody other will appreciate such a precious gift
ReplyDeleteHard not to be hurt and I had asked ahead of time if interested.....My kids can dumpster the quilts when I die, end of issue. Thanks for visiting!
DeleteDear Lizzy D and Friends, so fast-fashion has reached into bedding, can't say i'm surprised. Oh well, their loss. Your quilts look lovely - and warm.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone else - it's her (their) loss! I consider anything handmade I get from a friend a treasure and treat it accordingly, and something as large as a quilt - hard to believe a friend would turn one down! I agree with who said you need to make some new friends - keep the ones you have but someone who also loves quilts would be nice for you to share with! You KNOW all of us who watch you make them enjoy them, so as long as YOU enjoy the process of making them don't consider quitting!
ReplyDeleteI have rarely cried over a blog post, but this one brought me to tears. I'm sorry you had to go through this horrible kind of rejection. I have felt for the last 30 years or so that non-quilters don't always "get it", they see a quilt but don't SEE it the same way as we quilters do...the feelings we have poured into it, the creativity and inspiration, the love we invest our quilt with when we make it for someone special. A non-quilter doesn't understand fabric choices or blocks or liberated vs non-liberated; they have no background knowledge of these things to help them understand what they are seeing and what makes this quilt so unique. I do a lot of hand-quilting nowadays, but no one looking at my quilts could SEE the pain that I put into every stitch during this pandemic year. A quilter sees all this and more. Reading all the comments you've received on this post, I know there are many others besides me who truly appreciate your wonderful quilts. We are here to support you and cheer you on! And if you still want to give away a quilt or two, I know I'd be happy to take one; it would enrich my life in a meaningful way, as your blog has done.
ReplyDeleteYup, yup...so the wrong friends xox
ReplyDeleteThat is so rude and unkind. There is lots of quilts lot there - even in England and taste is so personal. Have you considered textile pictures? Very absorbing and they are smaller and transportable. I am finishing a picture and I have seen an idea for my picture on your lovely quilt
ReplyDeleteInteresting! I used to make scenic small quilts as travel memory quilts.
DeleteThat is so rude and unkind. There is lots of quilts lot there - even in England and taste is so personal. Have you considered textile pictures? Very absorbing and they are smaller and transportable. I am finishing a picture and I have seen an idea for my picture on your lovely quilt
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you feel rejected. You don't deserve that, especially from a friend.
ReplyDeleteI would agree with others to say make them for your own enjoyment.
I am heartbroken for you! Your quilts are wonderful, your friends are fails. They are not worthy of your gifts! People have forgotten gratefulness, civility and the true value of gifts. Don’t give up quilting! It gives you joy and creative outlet. God bless you!
ReplyDeleteBeverly Billingsley
Yes, I did take it personally! You all have cheered me up. Thank you!
DeleteI would cry too. To have someone so shamelessly reject your offering is so discourteous and ill-mannered. Please don't give up finding joy in creating. I love your blog.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, I am glad you enjoy my blog!
DeleteWe love our quilts, but we also recognize that they are out of fashion. Like a lot of old treasures, you have to find a special person who will appreciate them.
ReplyDeleteYes! Great point, I must remember the out-of-fashion aspect.
DeleteMy daughter in law's grandmother makes quilts for her family. As DIL got older she went from thinking of them as a blanket to a piece of generational art. They are fabulous- but yours are amazing.
ReplyDeleteI have three quilts. One was made in the mid 1800s with scraps, the next by a local Amish family and the last by a cherished friend. I don't know what will happen to these treasures when I leave the world. Maybe I will have them wrapped around me when I am put in the ground. To be surrounded by art and beauty....the way to exit!
Oh my! That is a unique idea! Go for it!
DeleteWhat a disheartening experience. I get it that quilts aren't everyone's "vibe" but that was harsh of your friend. I agree with others who have commented to make quilts you enjoy, for you!
ReplyDeleteMy heart went out to you when I read this,I remember the day I received your cute little quilt I won on your blog many moons ago. Every time I look at that beauty I think of you & Mo!You are lucky to have so many quilts to switch with the seasons. They are all cheerful,special and made with love! It shows!!! Happy Quilting continue posting them for all of us to enjoy!!!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful beach roses, Lucky you :)
ReplyDeleteHow hurtful to have your offer turned down. People should realize it's about the 'giving' and appreciate the love that went into the gift... Like, it's special because YOU made it! No matter if it's their style or not. Anyhoo, I don't know zip about quilts, but I sure can appreciate what you create.
I'm a bit late commenting, so I hope you're feeling better about the whole thing. Hug sweet Mo, that'll help.
You get quilt people and non-quilt people. Your friend is one of the latter. That's certainly no reflection on you or your generous gift offer. Celebrate your very lovely creations which are appreciated by many many other creative makers and admirers.
ReplyDeleteYou get quilt people and non-quilt people. Your friend is one of the latter. That's certainly no reflection on you or your generous gift offer. Celebrate your very lovely creations which are appreciated by many many other creative makers and admirers.
ReplyDeleteI get the impression you used to work in fashion or desigh? And maybe that's part of the problem. Your friends are attracted to that ascetic and the quilts that you are so drawn to are so warm and filled with the look of the human touch. It's very disheartening when people don't like or appreciate the things we put so very much of our heart and soul into, but in reality, you wouldn't want your quilts living with people who disdain them. I am feeling it more and more with the direction my quilts are going in, the lack of appreciation for what I am trying to convey in my quilts. Thankfully my children and siblings love my quilts, but others, not as much. Please keep making the things that make YOU happy, not others or truly, you won't find yourself making for very long as YOU will be the one most affected by disinterest. There is great value in making even in the midst of your hurt that your dear friends don't get or appreciate the beauty of what you do and where your heart is. Maybe think about selling a few of the pieces after you've loved on them for awhile, then at least you'll know they go to people who want them, especially if you price them at something of value. It might take time, but it could be helpful too.:)
ReplyDelete